People love to chuckle about PHP's function naming inconsistency, born in part by PHP's symbol hash having originally been "strlen".

Meanwhile C is out here like

"""
The problem is that there was never any guarantee that more than a certain number of characters would be checked when names were compared for equality—in Old C this was eight characters, in Standard C this has changed to 31.
"""

publications.gbdirect.co.uk//c

RT @official_php@twitter.com

🥳 PHP 8.1 is released!

🔗 Read all about it at: php.net/archive/2021.php#2021-

♻️ Migration Guide: php.net/migration81

🐘 Many thanks to the contributors for everything they implemented, and the RMs to get this amazing new version released!

❓ What's your favourite new feature?

In reply to some chat about PHP internals:

"""
Busy doing Quantum Mechanics at the moment, but I wanna chat later about this web scripting thing.
"""

Wow. How long has the "integrity" script property existed in HTML? Such an obvious and simple thing to use in a world where JS is pulled in from all over the place.

github.com/php/web-php/commit/

Me: "I should aks my ex-coworkers at Facebook about the outage this morning."

My coworkers: **TIMEOUT**

Me: Oh right, literally every platform I know these people on just went down.

Me: Researching new PHP Fibers feature for a talk.

Google: Did you mean this chemical manufacturer in Alabama?

Woah, found a use for PHP8 attributes and it's in a... **checks notes** CPU emulator.

Countdown to PHP 8.1.0 

data:text/html;base64,PGRpdiBpZD0idG0iPjwvZGl2PjxzY3JpcHQ+ZnVuY3Rpb24gdXBkKCl7dmFyIHg9MTYzNzg0MTYwMC0oRGF0ZS5ub3coKS8xMDAwKTt2YXIgaD1NYXRoLmZsb29yKHgvMzYwMCk7dmFyIG09TWF0aC5mbG9vcigoeC1oKjM2MDApLzYwKTt2YXIgcz1NYXRoLmZsb29yKHgtbSo2MC1oKjM2MDApO2RvY3VtZW50LmdldEVsZW1lbnRCeUlkKCd0bScpLmlubmVySFRNTD0oeDwwKT8nR28gd3JpdGUgc29tZSBQSFAnOihoKycgaG91cnMgJyttKycgbWludXRlcyAnK3MrJyBzZWNvbmRzJyk7fXVwZCgpO3dpbmRvdy5zZXRJbnRlcnZhbCh1cGQsMTAwMCk8L3NjcmlwdD4=

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Working on conference slides... I promise no Elephpants were harmed in the making of this photo.

The last beta release of 8.1.0 (Beta 3) is now available for testing. Check it out, and please help us test it. Submit bugs here: bugs.php.net/search.php?limit=

The first release candidate is scheduled in two weeks for 2 Sep 2021.

php.net/archive/2021.php#2021-

Wow. 8.0.10 going into RC today.

They grow up so fast...

And yes. I know this is a terrible idea. There's no way we could keep up with the annual costs, no matter how lolsy some of these names are.

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Possible domain names:

index.php // All the trollings
fuck.php // We've all felt it
love.php // We feel this too
runs.php // See also: The web
fractal-of.bad-design.php

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If I ran a kickstarter (or similar) campaign to create a .php top-level domain registrar (Filing fee is $185,000 and there's $25,000+ per year in additional costs, not to mention running the infra), would you contribute?

Have you taken your seat at the PHP Roundtable?

IT'S BACK! After a nearly 3 year hiatus, PHP Roundtable returns!

Episode 82: youtu.be/EeRIM8Kz2rw

Dramatic Elephpant: youtu.be/N-YY6IeciHI

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