Woah, found a use for PHP8 attributes and it's in a... **checks notes** CPU emulator.

Countdown to PHP 8.1.0 

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Working on conference slides... I promise no Elephpants were harmed in the making of this photo.

The last beta release of 8.1.0 (Beta 3) is now available for testing. Check it out, and please help us test it. Submit bugs here: bugs.php.net/search.php?limit=

The first release candidate is scheduled in two weeks for 2 Sep 2021.

php.net/archive/2021.php#2021-

Wow. 8.0.10 going into RC today.

They grow up so fast...

And yes. I know this is a terrible idea. There's no way we could keep up with the annual costs, no matter how lolsy some of these names are.

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Possible domain names:

index.php // All the trollings
fuck.php // We've all felt it
love.php // We feel this too
runs.php // See also: The web
fractal-of.bad-design.php

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If I ran a kickstarter (or similar) campaign to create a .php top-level domain registrar (Filing fee is $185,000 and there's $25,000+ per year in additional costs, not to mention running the infra), would you contribute?

Have you taken your seat at the PHP Roundtable?

IT'S BACK! After a nearly 3 year hiatus, PHP Roundtable returns!

Episode 82: youtu.be/EeRIM8Kz2rw

Dramatic Elephpant: youtu.be/N-YY6IeciHI

Sigh. Just realized I wrote "laws of robots" and now I feel like a complete tool.

Before anyone replies, There's no need for posting corrections at me. I knew Susan Calvin before you were alive. We had brunch every Sunday. Girl gets 🔥 on mimosas. Love her; take that any way you like...

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Hahahahahaha.... php.net/robots.txt has Asimov's laws of robots in it. What a fun day this is turning into.

Some days, I'll be wandering around the project and find nuggets like this:

Our favicon is 18 years old and not one god damn person is wasting time on trying to replace it.

Me: Wandering through PHP's website code, updating some patterns to modern syntax.

PHP website: Not actually on 8.0 yet.

Me:

Me: I'd like a hex table, please.

Google: Do you mean this random English village? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hextable

Me: I'd like an ascii table, please.

For the past few days, i have been benchmarking, and studying HTTP routers, and in the process, i have rewrite hhvm/hack-router in PHP ( github.com/azjezz/hack-routing ), added some optimizations, and managed to beat both FastRoute, and Symfony Routing.

blog post soon.

Ya know, I'mma be honest... Composer users follow a really nice, respectable upgrade cycle.

Y'all on it pretty sharp there... Even ya stragglers....

blog.packagist.com/php-version

Reassembling my workspace in the brand new bedroom I've built out in my basement. The office managers have reported for duty and are watching over me intently.

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