Sara Golemon @pollita@phpc.social

People love to chuckle about PHP's function naming inconsistency, born in part by PHP's symbol hash having originally been "strlen".

Meanwhile C is out here like

"""
The problem is that there was never any guarantee that more than a certain number of characters would be checked when names were compared for equality—in Old C this was eight characters, in Standard C this has changed to 31.
"""

https://publications.gbdirect.co.uk//c_book/chapter2/keywords_and_identifiers.html#:~:text=there%20was%20never%20any%20guarantee%20that%20more%20than%20a%20certain%20number%20of%20characters%20would%20be%20checked%20when%20names%20were%20compared%20for%20equality%E2%80%94in%20Old%C2%A0C%20this%20was%20eight%20characters

Announcing "The PHP Foundation" https://blog.jetbrains.com/phpstorm/2021/11/the-php-foundation/

Meanwhile, a chuckle for PayPal referring to PHP as "Personal Home Pages" https://www.paypal-status.com/history/eventdetails/44020

Well shit.

In reply to some chat about PHP internals:

"""
Busy doing Quantum Mechanics at the moment, but I wanna chat later about this web scripting thing.
"""

Wow. How long has the "integrity" script property existed in HTML? Such an obvious and simple thing to use in a world where JS is pulled in from all over the place.

https://github.com/php/web-php/commit/be4d00bda4a4337e957d3d233366c91a18e023d3

Me: "I should aks my ex-coworkers at Facebook about the outage this morning."

My coworkers: **TIMEOUT**

Me: Oh right, literally every platform I know these people on just went down.

Me: Researching new PHP Fibers feature for a talk.

Google: Did you mean this chemical manufacturer in Alabama?

Woah, found a use for PHP8 attributes and it's in a... **checks notes** CPU emulator.

data:text/html;base64,PGRpdiBpZD0idG0iPjwvZGl2PjxzY3JpcHQ+ZnVuY3Rpb24gdXBkKCl7dmFyIHg9MTYzNzg0MTYwMC0oRGF0ZS5ub3coKS8xMDAwKTt2YXIgaD1NYXRoLmZsb29yKHgvMzYwMCk7dmFyIG09TWF0aC5mbG9vcigoeC1oKjM2MDApLzYwKTt2YXIgcz1NYXRoLmZsb29yKHgtbSo2MC1oKjM2MDApO2RvY3VtZW50LmdldEVsZW1lbnRCeUlkKCd0bScpLmlubmVySFRNTD0oeDwwKT8nR28gd3JpdGUgc29tZSBQSFAnOihoKycgaG91cnMgJyttKycgbWludXRlcyAnK3MrJyBzZWNvbmRzJyk7fXVwZCgpO3dpbmRvdy5zZXRJbnRlcnZhbCh1cGQsMTAwMCk8L3NjcmlwdD4=

Working on conference slides... I promise no Elephpants were harmed in the making of this photo.

PHP 8.0 is dead.
Long live PHP 8.1!

https://externals.io/message/115906

Wow. 8.0.10 going into RC today.

They grow up so fast...

And yes. I know this is a terrible idea. There's no way we could keep up with the annual costs, no matter how lolsy some of these names are.

Possible domain names:

index.php // All the trollings
fuck.php // We've all felt it
love.php // We feel this too
runs.php // See also: The web
fractal-of.bad-design.php

If I ran a kickstarter (or similar) campaign to create a .php top-level domain registrar (Filing fee is $185,000 and there's $25,000+ per year in additional costs, not to mention running the infra), would you contribute?

Have you taken your seat at the PHP Roundtable?

IT'S BACK! After a nearly 3 year hiatus, PHP Roundtable returns!

Episode 82: https://youtu.be/EeRIM8Kz2rw

Dramatic Elephpant: https://youtu.be/N-YY6IeciHI

Delicious hackery....