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Hi! I have been paying my bills programming in PHP for over a decade with WP being what got me into the language originally.

I have a number of personal projects that I work on with the PHP Plates based static site generator Tapestry being the one that consumes the most spare time.

I thoroughly enjoy working with, and helping others and would very much like to be more involved in the PHP community at large.

Mx Autumn :elephpant: boosted
I bought this on a whim as it as £8 in a sale and its provided me with hours of entertainment; its absolute rubbish but in the best kind of way as its fun.

I feel inspired to write a short review on each of its 151 games; maybe once a day or how ever often I feel able to sit down and write a few hundred words.
A tiny gameboy styled hand held…
Mx Autumn :elephpant: boosted

It has been a very busy couple of weeks and doesn't look like its going to slow down any time soon...

Mx Autumn :elephpant: boosted
"Bad code" is a lazy expression. It’s not specific and means different things to everyone.

Stop calling it bad code:
Mx Autumn :elephpant: boosted

I found an ActivityPub library for that looks very promising:

Going to wire it into a project I shelved when baby #2 was born that I have just begun dusting off.


Finally payday... it’s of some relief but a third is paying off the overdraft 😔

Mx Autumn :elephpant: boosted
The internet was a mistake:
Mx Autumn :elephpant: boosted
There are four types of wealth:

1. Financial Wealth (money)
2. Social Wealth (status)
3. Time Wealth (freedom)
4. Physical Wealth (health)

Be wary of jobs that lure your with 1 and 2, but rob you of 3 and 4.
The above transcribed text prin…
Mx Autumn :elephpant: boosted

Warning: Researcher Drops phpMyAdmin Zero-Day Affecting All Versions

A cybersecurity researcher recently published details and proof-of-concept for an unpatched zero-day vulnerability in phpMyAdmin—one of the most popular applications for managing the MySQL and MariaDB databases.

Mx Autumn :elephpant: boosted

Do Shapeshifters Dream of Electric Sheep?

Mx Autumn :elephpant: boosted

Who would be interested in me building the following server. If I get 100 yes votes or more I will build it.

Cursed Amnesia servers

1) All users must behave and present themselves is a non-identifiable way

2) any user reliably identified will be suspended from the user, they can always open another account

3) Server will change its URL once a day, currently registered users will get an email of the new address

4) when the address changes all handles of users are automatically randomized. Login will remain the same but it will appear as a fresh new account with no posts or followers. The old account will still remain as will your posts.

#mastadmin #mastodon #fediverse #CursedInstance

Mx Autumn :elephpant: boosted

Red delicious apples were named by the same person as greenland

Mx Autumn :elephpant: boosted

#funkwhale's new donation platform is now up and running 🎉

Simply visit to donate anonymously by credit card or SEPA transfer, or to become a voting member of our collective.

Many thanks to the people who contributed to and tested this 🤗

If you want to read more about the changes and motivations, please check out

(Also note that
our Open Collective page will remain available if you prefer to support us here)

Mx Autumn :elephpant: boosted

I found an ActivityPub library for that looks very promising:

Going to wire it into a project I shelved when baby #2 was born that I have just begun dusting off.


Mx Autumn :elephpant: boosted

🌲🌲🌲I present for the approval🌲🌲🌲
🦉🌙 of the Midnight Society 🌙 🦉
🔦 The Tale 🔦
of the Reply Guy

In one small scope on a project I am currently working on there are 415 outstanding todo items stretching back to 2012!

Some of these are golden!

The fun side of dealing with legacy PHP codebases is finding ini_set thrown around like a condiment.

This example is made more entertaining by the fact it now actually reduces the resource available as the server is set up to provide 3GB RAM and max execution of five minutes for report generation. :elephpant: 🚀

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This one is actually an outlier at nearly 7,000 LOC it's one of the biggest files in the project but could easily be split into 100 or so class's as it contains all the logic for report generation and is not very DRY.

:elephpant: 🚀

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Rather than a Follow Friday I thought I would do a Nasty PHP Friday instead.

This is the median length of files in a legacy Yii1 project I am working on. One of over three hundred such files. That in itself wouldn't be a big problem if it weren't for the fact this was written in the time of PHP 5.1 with zero namespaces. The way Yii1 loads files (it does its own autoloading) means there are a number of classes with conflicting names all in the base namespace. Hurrah! :elephpant: 🚀

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